Not everyone who gets turned into a vampire becomes a sexy rock star. At twenty-seven, Vincent Lester still looks seventeen, acne and all. He lives in his parents’ basement, playing PlayStation and barely surviving by licking the blood off raw hamburger trays. His parents nag him to find a day job, but he’s afraid the sun will make him burst into flame. One night at the bar, Vinny picks up a drunk girl, literally, and gets his first taste of fresh, human blood. Then, things get really weird.

Growing up a disappointment, Shimusogo Rutejìmo has always struggled with proving himself worthy to his family and clan. All he wants is the magic to run faster than the strongest warrior, emulating his brother's strength and courage. When he is once again caught showcasing his poor decisions and ineptitude, he's sent on a quest for his manhood, a discovery of his true bravery and worth.