Not everyone who gets turned into a vampire becomes a sexy rock star. At twenty-seven, Vincent Lester still looks seventeen, acne and all. He lives in his parents’ basement, playing PlayStation and barely surviving by licking the blood off raw hamburger trays. His parents nag him to find a day job, but he’s afraid the sun will make him burst into flame. One night at the bar, Vinny picks up a drunk girl, literally, and gets his first taste of fresh, human blood. Then, things get really weird.
Even the best families can have dark secrets. Some people would say that Nick Baker has it all: the trust fund, the family connections, and the country club membership. However, the Baker dynasty is in decline, and being a Baker comes with obligations as well as a family history of insanity. Already prone to panic attacks, when Nick sees a supernatural creature dancing outside his office window, he wonders if he's just hallucinating or suffering a complete mental collapse. However, the creature is all too real, and it has come to collect on a promise made by one of Nick's ancestors, the secret of the Baker's success. Nick must choose between thwarting the ambitions of his family or facing the wrath of an ancient god.
Ten years later, still an outsider and pacifist, Rutejìmo struggles with his role in a clan that far from welcomes him. Armed with the necklace from the woman who saved him many years ago, Rutejìmo harbors a childish desire for her. His clan less than tolerates his inexplicable yearning for her. And when he is given the chance, he mistakes his lust for unconditional and undying love for the one woman who doesn't want him, creating a dangerous unrest between him and his clan.
Growing up a disappointment, Shimusogo Rutejìmo has always struggled with proving himself worthy to his family and clan. All he wants is the magic to run faster than the strongest warrior, emulating his brother's strength and courage. When he is once again caught showcasing his poor decisions and ineptitude, he's sent on a quest for his manhood, a discovery of his true bravery and worth.
Herein lies four quirky stories of unexpected heroes. Jebediah, the Unlikely Hero, and the Three Plagues of the Kingdom is about a coward who must confront a dragon and grapple with an ogre before finding a happy ending. Super Human is a short piece about designer babies created by genetic selection. The Fortune-Maker is a short story about a girl who struggles to find something to believe in. Fink Naggat and the Giant's Toe is about an adventurer of tiny proportions who has adventures of grand proportions. This book is not intended for children or adults, but rather for anyone who would like to hear a story, regardless of age. This book is illustrated by the author.